crazy vs vulnerable

The other day I was walking Bear, my dog, we walked by a couple walking their who stopped me to warn us against walking down the next block because there was a crazy woman sitting on a stoop screaming at the dogs passing by.

I looked over and saw the woman at a distance and a sense of sadness washed over me. I thought to myself, she must be in a lot of pain to be screaming at the dogs and people walking by, yet what people perceive is insanity and craziness. I had the urge to extend a gesture of humanity and kindness by sitting with her to listen to her story. Yet, I didn’t because I feared how she’d react to my presence.

I still think about that woman a week later, if we showed more interest in what our fellow humans are going through, we would begin to see pain instead of insanity, and perhaps there would be less episodes of violence in the world. Perhaps people would feel they had more of a support system. Maybe we cannot change the whole world, but I feel like interest in others vulnerabilities and pains is a good place to start.

on pain

Pain, modern culture has taught us to ignore it and new age philosophies teach that it is not real because “you are not your body or your mind” so therefore any sensation irrelevant and a distraction from begin “light”. If we can be honest with ourselves and admit that pain is a real part of our human experience and learn to express it, we can begin to use pain as a means for change in our sometimes predictable experience.

The body is a perfect piece of matter. Part of its function is the storage of information through muscle memory, meaning that we store emotions from past experiences within the musculature of our bodies. When trauma and emotional experiences are left unchecked and unexpressed, our bodies tense up in storage mode and our minds use that information to subconsciously create belief systems about the world and the construct of self. 

The pain we feel in the body, is the ego pointing to the areas where we need to spend time with our experiences and free up the storage so we can turn pain into wisdom. My life changed significantly when I began to engage in conversation with the sensations of my body. Daily in my meditation practice, I get curious about what I am holding onto beyond conscious awareness and allow it to speak to me. You will be surprised how quickly your life’s patterns and circumstances will shift once you hone in on this practice and allow space and gratitude to replace tension and pain.

emotions are strength

storm /stôrm/ Noun - a violent disturbance of the atmosphere. 

I invite you to take a moment to identify and observe the last time you weathered a physical, emotional, or mental storm. What can you recall from this experience? 

These crises and turbulences are the opportunity for our conscience awareness to awaken to the non-conscious beliefs that create our perception and as a result, our experienced reality. Yet, we get swept up in the drama of it all, that we are sometimes unable to distill the lesson and turn it into self understanding quickly and gracefully. Buddha teaches about the Four Noble Truths, the first truth says that it is part of the human condition to suffer and feel discomfort. As a result, we have a propensity to relive our faithful storms without digging into their origin. The result is that we walk around like ticking time bombs waiting for the next storm to blow up and take its course where it can and does leave a path of total destruction behind. 

The great news is, you can cultivate the tools and self awareness to weather your storms more gracefully. The hard news, is that this work requires the willingness and courage to face yourself and the world, as well as, resilience, patience, and compassion to go through it gracefully. Ultimately, if you go through the process you will have moments of deep opening and tenderness, love yourself fiercely. You will have moments of vulnerable truth, remember that it is part of your beauty. You will have moments where you cannot bear yourself any longer, recognize them as old skin shedding and breathe to make way for the part of you that wants, needs, and must come live. This website is a testament to the work, I aim to pass along the tools I use to weather my storms with the hopes you will know thyself and find peace.